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my friend Kerry

I was trying to think of a subject to write about the other night and instead I wrote this. This is for a very special lady friend of mine who is going through a hard time at the moment. Weve been friends for 12 years, its the first ever poem I have ever written for anyone ever hope you all like it, My Friend Kerry. My Friend Kerry, she’s very dear to me, We've known each other for quite a while A friend in times of trouble, A support when you feel you can go no further, With words of encouragement and wisdom beyond her years. Intelligent, witty with a smile that lights...

New start

I think I have already mentioned that I have a love of military history and wargaming. This Christmas my mum bought me some model paints and my daughter bought me a few 6mm medieval war of the roses figures for me to paint. My mum also bought brushes and a magnifying glass with a light attached, so I felt that I should make an effort and paint some figures. In the past , painting miniatures and historical research have greatly helped my mental health. The painting of the figures relaxes my mind whilst also creating some thing new and wonderful to behold. I may not be the best painter in...

My Mental Health in 2018

I have some goals that I hope to achieve in 2018. Pretty simple really, but it's going to be a challenge for me to overcome my issues and make sure I don't fail to fulfill them: Visit the GP and get some counselling and/or medication to help stabilize my mood swings Stop having so much Anxiety about things that are out of my control Curb the panic attacks and try and get them back under control. I've gone from 2 or 3 a year to the same per month recently. Try and get my disassociation under control. Last night I was laid in bed and my wife felt like she was so far away. Not emotionally...

Trigger Warning The subject of Death

TRIGGER WARNING The Subject Of Death I wrote this as a reply to another bloggers article about dealing with death, I feel I should include it here,. Ive found the subject of death to be quite difficult personally, Ive never just had words appear, i remember one particular lady in her 90s with terminal cancer, she did not want to talk, she just asked me to hold her hand, I held her hand for the 30 minute journey in complete silence, at the end of the journey she just smiled and said thankyou. It was probably the most profound thing that anyone has ever said to me and I remember it clearly...

the next day

ONe day down one day up 14/February/2017 09:23 After yesterdays entry i thought id better write about today. I had such a bad day yesterday, the worse in a long while, and it left me exhausted and lacking in hope. Today i woke up and i was scared, id had a dream, in the dream i was at speedway and one of the lads had come off their bike and there was a little group around him on the floor. In the dream i walk up and take charge and do all the checks and find out hes not breathing, i calmly start cpr (cardio pulmonary resussitation) and shout for oxygen and airways to be brought. Im...

some excerpts from 2017

its funny how one day you can take on the world the next you cant tie a shoe lace 13/February/2017 11:23 Its funny how one day you are on top of the world then the next you can barley fasten a shoe lace, thats how i feel today. Felt so bad today that i just stayed in bed all day and felt crap, im up now but feeling a bit disconnected. Ive got a duty to do tomorrow but i just dont want to do it at the moment. I will get up in the morning and go but right now i just dont want to be bothered definitley dont want to be responsible for anyone. Im talking to people on line but feeling...

What to say ?

What should i say? My life seems to have ground to a bit of a halt at the moment. I've been experiencing a lot of down days and don't really feel like I've achieved anything for quite a while. My relationship with my son is somewhat to blame. He suffers from ADHD and is on the Autistic spectrum but is also quite emotionally disturbed as well. This has lead to a very stormy relationship and as he is in his mid to late teens its exacerbated by all the normal hormonal problems of turning into an adult. I've had to ban my son from staying over at weekends due to his anti social behaviour and...

worst week ever

This week has been the worst ever and its only wednesday.

Lee's Blog

I never know what to say in blogs. I have so many thoughts whizzing round in my head it can be difficult to put them in to words sometimes. It's a shame, as I used to love to write.

Agricolas blog how I got to be here today.

Today im annoyed. I didnt get out of bed all day and missed out on getting my mobile phone sorted out at the phone shop in town. I am going to try again tomorrow but my sleeping pattern has been all over everywhere and I hope that i will be able to go and sort it tomorrow. I've had depression for over 40 years,I've come to terms with it I have an understanding. Im probably not going to be the life and soul of the party. I am not a naturally reaching out sort of person. I've always enjoyed my own company, and I think that that will stay the same. There are times when i wished there where...
Likes: Lee and Kezza


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